Smoky Lime Veggie Burgers

Word of advice: don’t be that friend that shows up to the BBQ with a sad prepackaged platter of dried out baby carrots and a plastic cup of “Ranch dressing” that tastes like a foot.

Waltz in with some pride– make your own, as in:

Netflix + Grill, girl.

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Regular burgers are tight, but what if you switched up your normal BBQ routine and chose to make a juicy, fiber-and-omega-3-loaded patty that is packed with zesty, smoky flavor?

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These patties are made with fiber-filled black beans, hearty brown rice, vitamin B12-packed nutritional yeast, omega-3-rich walnuts, and the potent anti-inflammatory cayenne pepper. Did you know that of all nuts, walnuts contain the most measurable amount of omega-3s?! They contain alpha-linolenic-acid (ALA) a type of omega-3 which our bodies actually can’t make on our own (and therefore we gotta munch on it in our food). So I don’t get too nutrition nerd on you, omega 3s are super importante for our immune, inflammatory, cardiovascular, and nervous system health.

Just like this burger, they do a body good:

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Celeeeeeeee-brate good yolk porn.

C’MON.

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PS y’all: this week I turn 27. Get ready for a plethora of blender-ized recipes involving copious amounts of prunes. I kid, I kid. It’s booze and burgers for me all zee way.

Smoky Lime Veggie Burgers

Makes 5-6 juicy patties

  • 1 cup raw walnuts or almonds, chopped
  • 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil + more for cooking
  • 1/2 red onion, diced finely
  • 5 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 tablespoon brown sugar
  • 1/3 bread crumbs (can also use Panko or GF)
  • 3 1/2 tablespoons BBQ sauce
  • 1 cup cooked brown rice
  • 1 tablespoon chili powder
  • 1/2-1 tablespoon cayenne pepper
  • 1 tablespoon cumin
  • 2 tablespoons nutritional yeast
  • 1 tablespoon smoked paprika
  • 1/4 black pepper
  • 1/4 sea salt
  • 1 1/4 cups kidney or black beans, drained, patted dry (1 can)
  • 1 teaspoon fresh lime zest
  • eggs (however many your heart desires)
  1. First get those walnuts/almonds roasty toasty. Heat oven to 350 and put them nuts in. Cook for 4-5 minutes, stirring frequently and checking on them very often because they burn lickety split. They may take a little longer — they’ll be done when they look golden brown and they give off a nutty aroma. When done, set aside to cool (or cheat and place the nuts on a plate, then stick in the freezer for 7-10 minutes).
  2. In a medium skillet over medium heat, heat oil. Add onions and sauté for 3-4 minutes, then add in garlic and cook another 2 minutes…until onion becomes soft. Set aside when done.
  3. When nuts are cooled, place them in a food processor along with brown sugar, bread crumbs, BBQ sauce, rice, chili powder, cayenne, cumin, nutritional yeast, paprika, and salt and pepper. Grind until a powder forms.
  4. In a separate bowl, mash the beans. Don’t like, pulverize to shit, just mash until a rough coarse paste starts to form (so there are still a few whole beans in there). Add the walnut mixture, onion/garlic mixture, and lime zest to the beans and mix until a dough forms. The dough should be wet enough so you can shape into a ball but dry enough so that it holds its shape. If too dry, add a little more BBQ sauce. If too wet, add some more bread crumbs. Taste it and add more spices/salt/pepper if needed.
  5. Shape into patties (I was able to make 5 plump, juicy ones). You can either grill these fine babies, or cook on a skillet. To cook on a skillet, heat another 2 teaspoons of oil in a medium skillet over medium heat. Drop a few patties into the skillet and cook 3-4 minutes on each side until patties are browned throughout. Place on a plate to cool.
  6. If your heart so desires a fried egg on your burger (which like, let’s be honest, it should) heat up about 2 teaspoons of oil in a small skillet over medium-high heat. Crack one egg over the oil and cook until white sets (becomes opaque and edges turn brown). Repeat for however many eggs chu want. Sprinkle fried egg with a lil salt + pepper and add to your burger just before serving.
  7. Serve on toasted buns with BBQ sauce, ketchup, mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, and whatever else your heart desires. ‘MURICA.

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